well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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