I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
