So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
