you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
