Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
