Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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