i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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