1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
