Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
