taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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