just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
