It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
