Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize