I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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