these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Two words: blizzard sex
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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