it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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