just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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