just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I intend to get homeless drunk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
