dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize