I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
