Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
