Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
