You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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