why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think i have two assholes
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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