So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
