Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
