3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
