all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
