after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
