plz talk dirty to me
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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