Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
