i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
