Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
