Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
