fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize