Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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