I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
