I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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