Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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