I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
