you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
