I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
