they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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