put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
