and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize