i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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