I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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