it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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