I'm drive I can fine osifer
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
