this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
