hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
