going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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