Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
