corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
