You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so let's talk penis.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
