Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
