it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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