Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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