dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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