i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
