her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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