Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
