Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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