I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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