yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
