Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
