Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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