sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
