Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
please come you make the beer taste better
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
