do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize