I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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